Q:

I'm new to Christianity and I don't feel like I belong For some background, I grew up in a religious household of a different religion. I won't say which religion, but I always had a nagging feeling that I didn't believe in it. I was stubborn for almost all my life trying to believe in that religion to preserve family peace. That religion (or at least the way my family practices it) has hurt me in many, many ways. The harm it has done will affect me for the rest of my life, yet I still feel some sort of loyalty to it. It has been less than a year since I've accepted Christ as my Lord and Savior. Since then, I have gotten so, so much better in every way. I won't go into detail, but it's been like a miracle how much better I have gotten. It is the first time in my life I have ever felt at peace. I read the Bible daily and I'm overall happy, which is far from what life was like before. However, I don't feel like I belong in this beautiful religion. I can't be public about my beliefs yet for fear of my family. Someday I will be able to, but even then I don't know if I have the heart to do so. I feel like I've abandoned my family and like I am a traitor even though I know it's not true. I've been trying to ignore that feeling. It's not working and I've noticed that I've been falling back into old, harmful habits. I worry that if I can't figure out how to belong, then I may never have the strength to be who I wish to be. Currently, even things such as the idea of going to church or getting baptized someday fills me with anxiety. Does anyone have any similar experiences or tips on how to overcome this?

A：

My experience is different from yours, but I’d like to share a few thoughts with you.

First, about your anxiety—your Heavenly Father knows it completely. And He is alive. Because of the risen Christ, we are able to do all things through Him. So you don’t need to be overwhelmed by fear.

If it’s not the right time for you to go to church yet, that’s okay. You can start by reading the Bible and worshiping at home. When I first came to faith, I was struggling with depression and didn’t go to church for a while either. But my Heavenly Father protected me and comforted me every single day.

As for baptism, I believe God will prepare the right timing for you.

My depression was also partly related to my family. At one point, my parents shared things with me that made me realize I needed to grow and reflect on myself. I struggled internally, but God gave me a lot of peace.

So I held on to my faith, continued praying for my family, and tried to influence them through my actions. And last year, every member of my family was baptized and came to the Lord.

I hope you will receive the same peace and guidance.